Something terrible has happened. It happened on facebook.
In case any of this is sensitive, I've changed some of the names in this story.
I have a friend, we'll call her Sissie Winterton-Smyth. If you're going to create false names, you might as well go all out. She has two brothers, that I know of, whom we'll call Archibald and Sebastian. I have met both of them on a few occasions, but never together, and I confess to getting them confused.
A few weeks ago, I went to take photos of Julia Sutherland doing stand-up comedy. A Winterton-Smyth was also performing and came over to say hello. I correctly guessed it was Sebastian and was very proud of myself. I took photos of him as well, because I'm a good person. remember that as you go on reading this - I'm a good person. at the end sebastian asked me to add him on facebook so I could tag him and send him the pictures, and so I did.
so, the other night i was reading something on my facebook news feed. This is what I remembered reading:
"Archibald Winterton-Smyth has just posed naked in front 3 strangers for [some apparently small amount of foreign currency]". A few of my friends had commented on it, including my friend Melinda (there's no point in hiding her identity; subterfuge is not her strong point) who had offered him more money. This reminded me of a time that my ex-girlfriend sent me a picture of a naked man she had had to draw in art class and I photoshopped my face on to it and sent it back. I could re-use the same joke here! but i was tired and decided to do it the next day.
when I woke up i tried to find the original conversation. However, Archibald wasn't on friends list - only Sebastian was. So it must have been Sebastian - I had gotten them confused as usual. I took one of the pictures I had taken of him and made it look a bit hand-drawn and then pasted it on the naked body. When I tried to find the original thread though, I couldn't. He must have deleted it.
frustrated that my genius had been stymied in this way, i decided to send the picture to melinda.
she said it was a stroke of genius and I should post it on his wall anyway. My resolve strengthened, and bearing in mind that he is a stand-up comedian and probably inured to these things, I posted it on Sebastian's wall, saying i had found it in a charity shop. he replied saying he hoped i hadn't paid too much.
A day or so later, i get a message from Melinda....
IT WAS THE WRONG BROTHER! I must have only seen Archibald's status update because so many of my friends had commented on it.
I can only wonder what Sebastian made of it when I, out of the blue, posted a charcoal drawing of him naked on his page. I mean, if I had posted a picture of myself naked, he may have written it off as clumsy flirtation. but a picture of him - that's bordering on the odd. (In retrospect it could have been worse - i could easily have posted a picture of his brother naked on his wall with no explanation).
to those i have confused or alarmed - I apologise.
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